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The Whimsical World of Insight Managers

By Kamil Ali, CCXP posted 12-15-2023 05:59 AM


As an Insight Manager, navigating the sea of data requests can sometimes feel like venturing into an alternate universe where peculiarity reigns supreme. From the color preferences of customers shaping office decor decisions to breakfast choices influencing buying behavior, and even our furry friends' preferences making it into surveys – we've seen it all. In this vast cosmos of information, our mission goes beyond mere insight delivery. And while we're at it, we try to sprinkle a bit of humor into our work. Join me, as I share some of the most entertaining requests and how these seemingly bizarre inquiries actually shape our strategies and insights (not really 😉). Welcome to a day in the life of an Insight Manager!

Don’t forget to download the hilarious visual guide of this article. Click here.

Peculiar Paws, Potions, and Preferences!

  1. "So, could we get some insights on our customers' favorite colors? We're thinking of painting the office."
  2. "Can you create a report on how our customers' breakfast choices impact their buying decisions? We think there might be a cereal connection."
  3. "We need to understand our customers' pets' preferences. Can you add that to the survey?"
  4. "Can you analyze our data and tell me which Hogwarts House most of our customers belong to?"
  5. "Could you find out if our customers' shoe size has any correlation with their average order value?"
  6. "Can you channel your inner mind-reader and tell us what our target audience really wants? Maybe we can offer them free puppies with every purchase!"

Deciphering Emo-telligence (or just about anything)

  1. "Can you do a sentiment analysis on all the emojis our customers use in their feedback? We need to know what the smiling face with heart-eyes really means."
  2. "Can you analyze if customers who use more exclamation marks in their feedback give higher NPS. We need your exclaim-tastic analysis!”

Werewolf Wallets and Meme Markets

  • "We need an in-depth analysis of how our sales perform during full moons. Werewolf customers could be a key demographic."
  • "Can you whip up a quick report showing the correlation between our sales and the phases of the moon?"
  • "We need a report on how our sales are impacted by the popularity of different memes. Our social media strategy depends on it."

Loki, Latte, and Lightsabers Impact NPS

  • "Can we check if our NPS rises when there's a new season of 'Loki' on Disney Plus?"
  • "Could you find out if our NPS is higher among fans of 'Star Wars' or 'Star Trek'? It's for...research purposes."
  • "Could you find out if our customers are more likely to recommend us to a friend if they're coffee or tea drinkers?"

Predicting Future or Weirdo’s Wisdom?

  • "Do you think you could just quickly predict the future of the entire industry?”
  • "Can you analyze our customers' favorite TV shows and predict what they'll want to buy from us during each season?"
  • "Can you just predict our sales for the next 10 years? You know, nothing too detailed, just a rough estimate."

Insight Manager’s Comic Relief

  • "Is it possible to uncover insights so groundbreaking that they'll make our CEO do the moonwalk during the next board meeting?
  • "Could you analyze this data set? It's only about 5 million rows. Shouldn't take you more than an hour, right?"
  • "I've got this great idea. Can you get me some data that proves it's a good idea?"
  • "Hey, can you tell me why I didn't win the lottery this week? Isn't that part of your job?"
  • "I need you to survey every single customer we've ever had. Yes, including that one guy from 1998."

Mythical Musings on Branding

  • "Can we measure brand equity by the number of times people mispronounce our brand name on TikTok?"
  • "Is having a strong brand like having a secret mind control device that forces customers to buy our products even if they don't want to?"
  • "Is brand equity affected by the number of times our CEO appears in their pajamas during Zoom meetings?"
  • "Can we position our brand as the official sponsor of procrastination and still expect customers to take us seriously?"
  • "Do your magical insights reveal any hidden spells to make our brand so irresistible that people will line up to buy our products like they're waiting for the latest iPhone release?"
  • “Hey, what magical insights can you bring to boost our brand's value? Any chance we'll find a secret unicorn market?

The Crystal Ball!

  • "We need to know what our competitors are planning for their next product launch. Can you figure that out from our sales data?"
  • “Can you unveil our competitors' top-secret plans by decoding the hidden messages in our sales data?"

Go Insight Gurus! Turn the most bizarre questions into intriguing explorations. Unearth insights from the unlikeliest of places. Happy Insight-ing  😄🌟